So the dumpling started preschool. I've been chewing on my nails in panicky anxiety waiting for that dreaded first day. I've been snowballing so much worry about the little dumpling in his new school that I am just relieved that day has come and gone. We're still standing. Nothing much has changed. And boy am I grateful. The fact that nothing has changed means that he's not regressing. We're still on the same page. I'd take that as a victory.
He waits for his turn on the slide. He looks at me in confident triumph when he conquers a new playground equipment. Although he needs his yaya to stay inside the classroom with him, he participates and does his schoolwork on his own. Just last week, during recess, he asked his classmate for a hotdog. What? No prompts? It just seems so overly simplistic, but for me, that's a milestone. We might be starting on a snail's pace here, but I know we'll get there. In my heart of hearts I believe that this little dumpling can do anything. Be anything. There's not a grain of doubt in my mind about that.
Just this morning, he kept prying the door so he could "go rain" (TRANSLATE: he wants to go outside and play in the rain). My reprimands were only delaying the inevitable. To have some sense of control over this whole rain playing thing, I made him wear his raincoat. (he didn't object.. which is a win because he didn't like the feel of the raincoat on his skin. I was seriously considering giving it away since I didn't think he was going to use it.) The next 15 minutes after that was pure magic. We jumped on rain puddles (he won't take no for an answer, momma has to jump too), counted flowers, threw pebbles, acted silly. He lifted his gaze to sky and closed his eyes as he let the rain drops patter on his tiny cheeks. I am lucky to have my cameraphone just at that moment to capture that one moment of pure bliss.
Dear Adam,
The only way to love you is to love all of you. ALL.OF.YOU. You are unique. As is each of us. And one day you'll see that the world will open up for you and embrace you the way I have embraced your whole being. I love you.
Peace, love, and drooly kisses,
Golde
